TOADY’S CHRISTMAS TREE SCAM

Twas just before Christmas,

the plant was a crush.

The birds were a-flutter

with budgets and such.

Then one day a big bird

remembered the tree.

“It's getting near Christmas,

Oh woe, woe is me.

“Who decorates trees,

who has time for that load?

“I know just the person,

our favorite Toad."

"So, when will I do it"

I asked of that bird,

"I am very busy,

or haven't you heard."

He said, "yes I know,

and your work is so fine,

Just do this little task

in your dubious free time."

So I formed a committee

and started to plan,

With a sinister idea

we embarked on a scam.

We collected a photo

of all our big guns,

From when they were toadies,

just wee little ones.

We attached the impressions

to pretty glass balls,

To hang on the tree,

it was lovely and tall.

Our birdies were honored

their pictures to see,

They donated ten dollars

to be on that tree.

We picked up some trinkets

of monkeys, so cute,

Each one had a little

brass horn it could toot.

They looked right at home

on the tree with those toads,

So we thought up some names

for the dear little souls.

There was Stinky and Blinky

and Freaky and Mole,

Scooter and Tooter

and Pokey and Flo.

Our bosses were peeved;

they did not like our joke.

But everyone else laughed

so hard they could choke.

"Monkeys and toads,"

they said, "one of a kind."

But the managers whimpered

and plotted and whined.

And they came

one by one with $100 bills,

They said, "take down those

monkeys, they give us the chills."

So we re-decorated

and made them feel good,

And the Christmas tree looked

like a Christmas tree should.

Our birds were all glad

to get out of a jam,

And the team’s having fun

with the money we scammed.

The word is out

next year we’ll still have a tree,

But the décor committee

WILL NOT INCLUDE ME!