Blonde

An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the Casino,and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckierwhen I'm completely nude."With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down andsquealed..."YES, YES, I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men, are men.

"There are as many kinds of beauty as there are habitual ways of seeking happiness. "

Scottish logic

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow policeman.
He thinks that he is smarter than the policeman because he is a lawyer from
LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He
decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow policeman's
expense!!

The policeman says, ' Licence and registration, please.'

London Lawyer says, 'What for?'

The policeman says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

Glasgow policeman says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and
registration, please.'

London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

The policeman says, 'The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop,
that's the law. Licence and registration, please!'

London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow
down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me
the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

Glasgow policeman says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the hell out of the
lawyer and says, 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'