Twas just before Christmas,
the plant was a crush.
The birds were a-flutter
with budgets and such.
Then one day a big bird
remembered the tree.
“It's getting near Christmas,
Oh woe, woe is me.
“Who decorates trees,
who has time for that load?
“I know just the person,
our favorite Toad."
"So, when will I do it"
I asked of that bird,
"I am very busy,
or haven't you heard."
He said, "yes I know,
and your work is so fine,
Just do this little task
in your dubious free time."
So I formed a committee
and started to plan,
With a sinister idea
we embarked on a scam.
We collected a photo
of all our big guns,
From when they were toadies,
just wee little ones.
We attached the impressions
to pretty glass balls,
To hang on the tree,
it was lovely and tall.
Our birdies were honored
their pictures to see,
They donated ten dollars
to be on that tree.
We picked up some trinkets
of monkeys, so cute,
Each one had a little
brass horn it could toot.
They looked right at home
on the tree with those toads,
So we thought up some names
for the dear little souls.
There was Stinky and Blinky
and Freaky and Mole,
Scooter and Tooter
and Pokey and Flo.
Our bosses were peeved;
they did not like our joke.
But everyone else laughed
so hard they could choke.
"Monkeys and toads,"
they said, "one of a kind."
But the managers whimpered
and plotted and whined.
And they came
one by one with $100 bills,
They said, "take down those
monkeys, they give us the chills."
So we re-decorated
and made them feel good,
And the Christmas tree looked
like a Christmas tree should.
Our birds were all glad
to get out of a jam,
And the team’s having fun
with the money we scammed.
The word is out
next year we’ll still have a tree,
But the décor committee
WILL NOT INCLUDE ME!
